"Do you sexy Mom?"
He looked to me for help. I explained:
Earlier in the day one of our little friends reported to me -
"Mae Mae thinks I'm sexy."
I choked. "That's ridiculous. Mae Mae doesn't know what sexy means."
"Yes she does. I told her."
I winced. "Impossible. You girls do not know what 'sexy' means."
There followed a flurry of whispers from the back seat, but for the most part, they dropped it. So it didn't surprise me to hear Bela bring up the topic over dinner.
We tried to tell her: "Sexy isn't a verb." (Blank stare.) "Sexy isn't something you do." (Moderate amount of interest. ) "A person can be sexy, but they don't do sexy." (Admittedly arguable.)
She wanted more. We went for synonyms. "When you think a person is sexy, you think they're attractive, cute, pretty, handsome. They make you feel silly, embarrassed, speechless. You like them. You want to be close to them, get to know them, be their friend. Or more."
I started to feel like I was floundering. I envisioned Bela as sexy, Bela thinking other people were sexy, Bela starring in a hit HBO show about sexy vampires having sex and doing sexy things. (Man, I do love that show.) I wasn't ready for this conversation.
I added: "Sexy is for grownups. Little kids are NOT sexy. Little kids should not worry about BEING sexy."
I didn't know why I felt so horrified. I didn't know why I felt so appalled, so fearful. But I realize... I'm not afraid that exposure to grown-up stuff will make Bela grown up, overnight. I don't want to lock her up in a tower until she's 16. I think it's completely normal for little kids to try on adult "stuff".
I just want my girl to be 6 for as long as she can. Why, oh why does it seem like the whole world is trying to make my little baby grow up so fast? I prayed the conversation would end, but then...
"Dad, do you think Mom is sexy?" (applying it appropriately adjectivally).
I held my breath. I glanced across the table. I blushed. Bela saw it.
"Yep."
Right answer.
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