Cicada: The Slumber Party

My first born recently celebrated her 7th birthday. Unbelievably crazy. She has changed so much lately, she seems so grown up to me. A lot of our clashes seem to originate from me treating her like she's 4 and her acting like she's 12. We really need to find a way to meet somewhere in between.

We are very different, Bela and I. She is so social. She desires - needs, even - a lot of people around her. She wants play dates, parties, sleep overs. I, on the other hand, tend to spend a lot of quiet time alone. I feel a little out of sorts in large groups of people, so my tendency is to avoid arranging the kind of social engagements that Bela so longs for.

It dawns on me that a lot of parent/child conflict most likely results more from these types of personality differences than from anything else. It's not what she does that bothers me, it's my inability to understand her motivation that drives me crazy. Every night when she goes to sleep I see her there in her bed, sweet as an angel and I'm so moved. And every morning when we wake up I promise myself I'll be more patient and more understanding than the day before. I promise there will be no fights, no yelling. But things don't always work out that way.

And yet, I'm trying. I'm trying to take a deep breath when I get frustrated with Bela's absent-mindedness, her disorganization, her constant chattiness. I remind myself that she is her own person, and she is 7. I've been doing a better job of this lately. Um, well, I think I have. Except for this morning; let's not talk about this morning.

I've also tried of late to be more social, for her sake. So we are having a slumber party to celebrate (belatedly) her 7th birthday. We have invited every girl from her class. They will all be at my house, all night. To combat that tightening I feel in my chest, I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest, saving ideas I find on-line to make this party a very special one she will remember.

I plan on spending all next week preparing for her big night. I should have plenty of time seeing that I have to go in for surgery tomorrow and will be mostly house-bound for a few weeks. Nothing serious here, just a hernia my doctors are certain I acquired during Gil's delivery. The timing might be perfect, though. I have to put all my overly ambitious plans on hold and just hang at home. Plenty of time to make paper chains, paper stars, blow balloons, and bake treats.