tick tock

The girls spent their time well last weekend.

The moment before I die, as images and moments and history float before my dimming eyes, I will briefly dwell on one single regret: there was never enough time.

Go ahead. Carve it on my tombstone: HERE LIES KATHRYN. SHE NEVER HAD ENOUGH TIME. 

However long I live (and I'm hoping I'll reach a ripe and stinky age), it won't be enough - not nearly enough to accomplish all I hope to do.

The childless and the single most likely feel the same way, but the parent... oh, don't parents know the true meaning of limited time? If Chris and I choose to do A on any given night, it is only because we are not doing B. Or C, D, E, F, G. Unfortunately, A usually winds up being some mundane, monotonous task: preparing and cleaning up after dinner. Homework with the girls. Ridding the house of stinky diapers. Laundry. Errands. Kids kids kids kids kids.

But on the off chance we can sneak in a few minutes of ME time or even WE time, it's a never-ending struggle of choice: If I'm knitting, I'm not reading. If I'm reading, I'm not blogging. And if I'm blogging, I'm definitely not sewing Halloween costumes, or hanging fake spider webs, or baking cute little monster cookies. 

If Chris is putting together his basement work studio, he is not painting that picture for the art show. If he's working on the art show, he's not hanging out in the woods with his camera. If he's fishing, he's not hanging out with his kids. If he's building wonderful worlds out of Legos with his wonderful girls, he is definitely not bidding on that next job.

And if we manage to cram in some pleasurable, solo activity, we are NOT spending time together.

I limit my kids' extracurricular activities in an attempt to keep their lives simple, underwhelmed. One thing at a time is the rule. (If only I could live by the same one!) Mae is pretty cool with it. Bela, well, she's a bit more like me in this regard. She accepts the rule, but she has plans, that one. Her list:

Ballet
Then Flamenco
Then karate
And...
Swimming
Gymnastics
Art class
Spanish
Chinese
Ice Skating
Piano

Mae is either more laid back or less forward thinking. Her list?

Swimming.

And mine?

Learn to use my serger better
Train for another marathon
Take the next banjo class
Join a singing class
Try out that trapeze class
Personal training
1 on 1 swim lessons
Drawing class
Square dancing
Book club
Get certified to teach in the public schools
Finish the farm mat I've been making for 3 years
Sew a quilt
Do some needlework
Paint the rest of my house
Reupholster my chairs
Finish the hand embroidered Christmas stockings I didn't finish last year
knit a sweater
travel to Nepal to see Mt. Everest
take a kayak somewhere. Anywhere.
sleep.

and on
and on
and on

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a load of things I want to do that I'll never accomplish. Gotta run!